Soh

FUCK HER! Fuck her for getting in that cab. Fuck her for fucking with my mind. Fuck her for not knowing what she wants. Fuck her for dragging me into it. Fuck her for beeing such a fantastic kisser. Fuck her for ruining my favorite band. Fuck her for barely saying a word to me before she left. Fuck her for not waving. Fuck her for getting my hopes up. Fuck her for making my hopes useless. Fuck her for taking off with my fucking jacket.  FUCK ME! Fuck me for always getting into situations like this. Fuck me for caring. Fuck me for not knowing the words that would've made you stay. Fuck me for not knowing what i want. Fuck me for wavering. Fuck me for not kissing you back the right way. Fuck me for getting my hopes up. Fuck me for not having realistic hopes. Fuck me for giving you my fucking jacket.

All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.

It's hard not to hate.People, things,institutions. When they break your spirit and take pleasure watching you bleed, hate is the only feeling that make sense. But i know what hate does to a man, tears him apart, turns into something he's not, something he promised himself he'd never become. That's what i need to tell you, to let you know how hard i'm trying not to cave under the weight of all the awfull things i feel in my heart. Sometimes my life fells like a deadly balancin g act. What i feel slamming up against what i do. Impulsive reactions racing to solutions miles ahead of my brain. When i look at my day,i realize, most of it was spent cleaning up the damage of the day before. In that life i have not future. All i have is distraction and remorse. Every day is a new box. You open it, you take a look at what's inside. You're the one who determines if it's a gift or a coffin.