It's hard not to hate.People, things,institutions. When they break your spirit and take pleasure watching you bleed, hate is the only feeling that make sense. But i know what hate does to a man, tears him apart, turns into something he's not, something he promised himself he'd never become. That's what i need to tell you, to let you know how hard i'm trying not to cave under the weight of all the awfull things i feel in my heart. Sometimes my life fells like a deadly balancin g act. What i feel slamming up against what i do. Impulsive reactions racing to solutions miles ahead of my brain. When i look at my day,i realize, most of it was spent cleaning up the damage of the day before. In that life i have not future. All i have is distraction and remorse. Every day is a new box. You open it, you take a look at what's inside. You're the one who determines if it's a gift or a coffin.